02. I'm Not Lazy, it's just my Task Paralysis Demon

5 ways I overcome Task Paralysis

May 08, 2024

Hi Mi Gente! Welcome to The Cafecito Weekly ✨ Before we get into it, I want to thank each and everyone of you for being here. If you’re new, Good MORNAAANNG. If you’ve beeeeen here, Good MORNAAANNG. I know right now everyone is talking about the Met Gala but instead of focusing on other celebrities’ choices, I thought we could focus on our own 💁🏽‍♀️ I know i know, the fashion and the event is entertainment! It’s a night of glam and couture draped in expensive jewels that we all look forward to every year. I’m not sure if it’s just me, but year after year as I get older and learn more about how the world works, the excitement of these events and highlights of other people’s lives has grown thin. Instead of serving its purpose as media that subconsciously removes us from our reality for a few hours, it has really made me reflect on my own. Am I living a life that truly fulfills me in every way? Have I achieved everything I sought out to up until this point? Yes and No. Of Course I am proud of myself and where I have taken my life, but I also know my ~~weaknesses~~ opportunities.

*Fun Fact: I was a Store Manager at Zumiez back in the day and they were one of the only companies I have ever worked for that truly invested in the knowledge, education and training of their management teams. I learned so much that not only helped me become a better leader, but also how to be a better communicator, business person and human. Opportunities was one of them. If any type of growth is expected, one must be able to identify their strengths and weaknesses. Let me tell you why it’s crossed out. Being able to identify certain areas you can better is overall a sign of strength. If you don’t think you have anything about yourself to better, there’s some internal stuff you have to figure out cause you’re in denial. We all have areas of improvement, but being able to improve on them makes them Opportunities rather than weaknesses. A weakness is something you can’t help. A hero’s typical weakness is the person they love. Spiderman’s MaryJane or even his friends. John Wick and his dog. We all saw what happened when they messed with his dog.. So you get it. When it comes to ME or YOU, we have Opportunities, and that’s never a bad thing. Okay back to the show*

Obviously we all have issues, but I wanted to tackle some internal/mental/emotional things I know externally become obstacles of my own making. One of those things is this sense of being stuck. Not like I don’t know what to do, because I am actually ACUTELY aware of the giant CVS receipt of a to-do list filled with things that will ultimately propel me in the right direction. My body just CAN’T. I’m sitting at my desk and I can’t do anything. Constantly reaching for my phone since you don’t have to use much brain power to scroll through videos of other people actually living their lives.. And then when I do devote all my attention to my CVS receipt, the anxiety is overwhelming. What if it’s not as good as it should be? What if I mess it up? WHat if, wHaT iF, WhAt If - Just this annoying negative feedback loop full of frustration, anxiety, indecision, and self-doubt.

While I was never formally diagnosed with anxiety or ADHD, I’ve always felt the symptoms pretty heavily, I was just “high functioning.” Not to mention, nobody was taking their kids to the doctors for ADHD in the 90’s. By the time I was older, I was already “managing” so to speak. Now that I’m an adult, getting the actual diagnosis would be way more difficult since I’ve gone all this time without any medications, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t suffered through it. In researching “why tf do I feel this way” something specific popped up that seemed to check all the boxes, Task Paralysis.

What is Task Paralysis?

According to Canadian ADHD diagnosis and treatment program, Frida, it’s the “reluctancy to begin a task, either out of fear (of doing it wrong), perfectionism, or because they haven’t been properly motivated. Task paralysis is especially common when the tasks involve mundane activities that feel painfully under stimulating, such as doing chores.” It can look a lot like procrastination, except for the fact that you aren’t actively choosing to put things off. You actually really want to finish them but all these internal feelings are getting in the way and you just can’t.

*it’s important to note that I am NOT a psychologist, therapist or any type or medically credentialed professional in this field. These thoughts are just my own and how I struggle with these internal issues. If I struggle with them, I would imagine others probably do to.*

How I Overcome it and Actually Get My Sh** DONE

This isn’t just a once a month happening. Task Paralysis is something that I physically cannot shake. The amount of time it takes away from my actual life and productivity can vary, but here are 5 ways I’ve figured out how to change my perspective and approach to the overall way I process the actual tasks.

One Step at a Time: Whatever the task may be, sometime it can be impossible to start. When I was in high school I would always look at the clock and countdown for class to end. An hour was entirely too long for my attention span so I broke it up into 2 increments of 30 mins, then broke those up even further into 4 increments of 15 mins. That’s just 10 minutes plus 5 more. Suddenly, getting through class was easy. I was only really there for 10 minutes, times 6. My to-do list is the same. When it get’s a bit too overwhelming, I break it down into bite size chunks that ear easier to digest and less daunting to approach. If I have 5 projects in premiere to edit and 3 to film, plus maybe some photo editing or pitch decks to complete, i don’t even want to look at my list. But if I only have to focus on a little at a time, aka - I can film one video at a time, task complete. I can dump footage, another task complete; simplifying my list along the way.
Prioritize your To-Do List: Be so FR, not everything on your lost carries the same way in terms of importance. Some you’’ be able to get done in a few minutes, while other tasks may take a few days. Prioritizing them as such helps you quickly cross off the things that take up less time to get done.
Make it Cute: We all know the girlies who spend more time decorating their notes than actually studying them. Was I one of those girlies? We won’t talk about that BUT I can say that learning how to set up my tasks and projects on my ipad has helped TREMENDOUSLY in terms of keeping track of my life and holding myself accountable. I am an ipad kid when it comes to that. And of course I make my digital planner and calendars all cute so its more serotonin when I get to cross them off. Find a system that works for you, whether its Goodnotes, Notion, Paper/Pencil, or whatever digital or physical planner you prefer. Don’t just draw hearts and flowers everywhere, try being strategic with your creative placement to help gain more of your attention on something in your list.
Accurate Goal Setting: This is something I KNOW we are all guilty of, adding more unnecessary pressure on ourselves by setting unrealistic goals. “I’m gonna get this done today” no you’re not Bethany - you have ten other things you need to get done first. Whether you’re a Bethany or not, not giving yourself the proper understanding of what goes into the completion of each goal is going to set you back. We always get so frustrated at employers or bossed who fail to understand how much effort and energy we put into our work and ourselves. Why would you treat yourself like the bosses who have previously failed you? Understand yourself, understand your work, and set a realistic goal based on that.
Small Victories: If you read the last Cafecito Weekly, you’ve heard me mention this before. This to me is the most important piece of defeating any sort of internal obstacle, whether its a to-do list or getting through a creative block. Celebrating the small victories is the main thing that will keep you going, knowing that you were able to put one foot in front of the other when you didn’t think you could, and THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH. That should be celebrated. When our mind and body is figuratively paralyzed, nothing we do is good enough since we aren’t even good enough to start. Congratulating yourself for those tiny wins, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. If you want to become a runner but you don’t know how to start or can’t seem to figure it out, putting your shoes on is a good first step. Maybe taking light stretches can be another step. Filling up a water bottle, the third step. And guess what, filling up your water bottle in your kitchen with your running shoes on is the furthest you’ve gotten to becoming a runner all week so congratulate yourself for that. Doing a small amount of something, is better than a whole lot of nothing.

Doing my own Builder Gel / Gel X Nails! This has saved me so much money and gives me the option to have a new design every week! I’ve also learned how to do it in a way that doesn’t damage my natural nails *base coat in last weeks blog* *Saviland Gel X Kit - comes with builder gel, base coat, top coat, nail forms, some tips (not a ton so i bought more) and some tools plus a mini lamp!

Spam Chips! - Idk if this is an actual thing or not but ever since I was little, I’ve always liked my carne asada and tortillas just a bit crispy and charred. The crunchy bits were always my favorite. Recently I made some spam sandwiches for lunch and burnt one of the slices. I ended up purposely over cooking the rest so they were crispy yet still meaty, more than hard ass beef jerkey. I’ve made them 4 times since.
Hot Girl Bike Rides! In college I was a pretty dedicated athlete who was in the gym every morning and everynight just to train. I played volleyball so it was a bunch of movement drills and quick speed changes. Now that I’m 31 and still KILLIN IT TYSM, I don’t go as hard as I used to. Now it’s really just about staying healthy and feeling good about myself, and Hot Gworl Bike Rides have def helped with that. Peep my Hot Girl Bike Ride routine - HEREEEEE <3
If you’re not obsessed with this song, you’re lyingggggg.
Oversized Green Cargo Pants!! If you’ve been following me for awhile, you know that I practically LIVE in cargos. Not only are they functional with a million pockets, which traditional womens pants NEVER have, theyre freakin style af with so much room for activities! Here are some of my faves:
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